The Pickmeisha Playlist

This post is specially dedicated to the lovely Leticia Padua, fondly known within the virtual echo chamber as Shera Seven. She is credited for the coinage of the now ubiquitous buzzwords like “dusty”, “Barbara, the builder and “Pickmeisha”. For over five years, Shera Seven has been on a mission to unplug and deprogramme womenfolk from the denigrating, self-reductive and repressive ideologies of patriarchy. Her emergence on the cyberspace has ignited a monumental shift in the socialized thought process of women across the world.

The crux of Shera Seven’s message evolves around the exposition of male psychology, women’s positioning as logical thinkers in proximity to men and self-prioritization in opposition to an age old tradition premised on women’s invisibility, subservience and voicelessness accompanied by male disrespect and inhumanity; self-sacrifice for the benefit of men devoid of reciprocity and mutual investment.

In a world filled with self-serving and entitled men, Shera teaches women to equally mirror and adopt a similar stance by having mountain-high expectations and standards. Women have been conditioned to see themselves as undeserving of good treatment from their partners while most men, on the other hand, exploit them to their advantage. Women have been taught that this should be the norm and those who stick to this progamme have been a greater majority until recently.

Shera calls such women “pickmeisha”. Another term used to describe them within the virtual echo chamber is “femcel” and in academia, they are called “male-identified” women. They are male worshippers who value men above themselves. Within the marital context, the pickmeisha devalues herself and children, often in abusive circumstances where the male is predatory, to please the husband. She condones physical, verbal, financial and emotional abuse just for the social respectability of being attached to a man.

Marred by a culturally-entrenched low self esteem and chronic weak mindedness, she is deficient of self-love because society expects her to love and serve others above herself and expect zero returns. She auditions voluntarily to be chosen and views herself as worthy and honoured to be noticed by a man. She lives for male validation and obtains an illusionary recognition and vitality through male pandering, despite the lovelessness and abuse she experiences within familial and official domains. Her relationships are often bereft of personal growth.

In some cases, she assumes a messianic role whereby she becomes the male spokesperson, in a quest to defend and save him. Pickmeishas are quick to pardon male irresponsibility and lack of accountability. In politically engineered courses like racial profiling which targets certain groups of men, they function as demonstrators-in-chief and social justice warrriors, despite being at the bottom of the racialized totem pole themselves. And this reflects a severe case of stockholm syndrome which is a mental reaction that triggers positive emotions and emotional bond with an abuser. It is a coping mechanism driven by the need to survive and thrive within a predatory environment which would be patriarchal, in this instance.

In other cases, Pickmeishas are internalized misogynist who find insufferable and are even threatened by the existence of free spirited women and function as patriarchy’s handmaidens in their witchhunt. They, more often than not, position themselves as the antagonists and aggressors of independent-minded, flourishing, intelligent, beautiful and self-aware women. When such women come under male attack, empathy and solidarity is never shown.

Retrospectively, women have been bamboozled by patriarchy’s psychological warfare which disassociates them from self and the recognition of the truth in plain sight which is that the woman is the power and centre of the universe. Religion and entertainment (music, films and books) have been weaponized to mould spineless and dysfunctional women, and invariably strip them of their essence. The inventors of this diabolical devices did greatly, but alas, we stand in the age of awakening. And while Shera Seven’s talking points may be viewed as still positioning women in the concentric circle of patriarchy without liberation or autonomy, another movement has since evolved which argues for an absolute disassociation from men. The 4B Movement is founded on four principles, namely: null dates with men, celibacy, voluntary spinsterhood and voluntary childlessness. These are the ripple effects of patriarchy’s boot on women’s necks and many women, today, are refraining from bootlicking.

While women consistently evolve, the pickmeisha playlist positions itself as a relic of a past that awakened women collectively hope to never again relive. The songs on this list were mostly male-authored and performed by women who found resonance in the lyrics. These songs mirror societal expectations of women and have served to shape their inner world. Although these songs have been well received over the years, they subliminally conditioned women to under-value themselves, overperform for men, strive against and fight other women, and overcompensate for the benefit of patriarchy. The songs on this list are sourced primarily from the R&B tapestry and should hopefully foster self-reflection, nostalgia, mental renewal, lightheartedness and laughter. But warning alert, some songs are more pathological than others.

1. Aaliyah. “4 Page Letter”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iqn97g65rA

2. Adina Howard. “Freak Like Me”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdyUqqRfUMk

3. Angie Stone. “Brotha”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkUtYqwlHDM

4. Anita Baker. “Whatever It Takes”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9akTqoYujm4

5. Aretha Franklin. “Respect”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A134hShx_gw

6 …………………………… “In Case You Forgot”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hRCpzZUjRA

7. Beyonce. “Crazy In Love”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViwtNLUqkMY

8 ………………….. “Why Don’t You Love Me”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QczgvUDskk0

9. Brandy. “Have You Ever”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xkj1An6Wnec

10. Candi Staton. “Stand By Your Man”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbyStJWvajo

11. Chaka Khan. “Everywhere”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnpaCxYkkpA

12. …………………….. “Telephone”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy3uOBTOkz4

13. Chante Moore. “I Want To Thank You”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE08TSLVgpE

14 ………………………. “Chante’s Got A Man”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38tEnz65VPk

15. Destiny’s Child. “With Me”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MUgmvRPYz4

16. Diana Ross. “Muscles”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3y5TTGhTFvQ

17. Dionne Warwick. “The Woman That I Am”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR_bFZjSTz0

18. Dolly Parton. “Jolene”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixrje2rXLMA

19. Donna Summer. “Need A Man Blues”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtsGnb4hPkk

20. En Vogue. “Don’t Let Go”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwhwGmoYv1s

(To be continued)