The Gold Digger & Sex Digger’s Playlist

Even though men (ok, chill, a greater majority, not all!) have ranked higher for millennia on the gold-digging spectrum as they systematically target women for the purpose of sexual exploitation, emotional energy vampirism, free labour, and in some cases, material gains, on a given day, within the patriarchal framework, the primary male characteristics have often been ascribed onto women.

Gold digging describes a woman whose motive for being with a man is access to his money. It is often used as a pejorative against women who have material expectations from their partners because society has made it statutory to shame women who want reciprocity in their relationships.

However, there is an established collective historical amnesia that needs to be eradicated and it is the fact that men are credited for the creation of an economic system which placed women as co-dependents, disempowering them from self-sufficiency and economic independence.

In the beginning, women were the economic powerhouses who held control of land for food cultivation and the primary leaders of society. And in that society, hunger and impoverishment were alien and indecipherable concepts.

Agreeably, society has since evolved ushering a radical paradigm shift which has economically equipped and empowered women. And it appears that someday in the future, the past might become the future. again. Nonetheless, it is hilarious when menfolk shame women for being the very thing they created. We see clearly the double standard of the patriarchal system which is bereft of integrity within its own operation.

While relationships tend to be one-sided with women being givers more than receivers, finding songs which reflect a woman’s relational expectations was a herculean task as women have been accustomed and primed to have little or no expectations of men and accept bare minimums, while men “dig the gold”.

The gold-digging songs on this list reflect womanly expectations of literal gold, interpreted as economic gratification. However, figuratively, in other cases, gold would equate empathy, warmth, love, kindness and wholesome treatment, overall. In addition, in music history, gold-digging songs are few and far-in-between, in comparison to the male worship and adoration centred songs which are primarily penned by men.

They are as follows:

  1. Candi Staton. “I’ll Rather Be An Old Man’s Sweetheart”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eygNiEQ37DY

  2. Destiny’s Child. “Bills Bills, Bills”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HWwg_B84iY

  3. Ella Fitzgerald. “Love For Sale”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeKLo10lwrI

  4. Gwen Guthrie. “Aint Nothin Goin’ On But The Rent”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cbWVXmLlfg

  5. Linda Clifford. “Don’t Give It Up”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0Zt71xTL1c

  6. Missy Elliot. “All In My Grill”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fOZ7NvGRAI

  7. Patti LaBelle. “Right Kinda Lover”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXg4PHSFp_c

  8. Tina Turner. “Better Be Good To Me”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDrVyauFyCo

  9. TLC. “No Scrubs”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4pjKc0ZRiE

On the other hand, men’s favourite “gold” is sex, amongst other benefits. “And [they] all need it, can’t live without it, as Robert Kelly would sing in “Gotham City“. It goes without saying that a man’s favourite sport is shooting his arrow on the woman’s bow. But, it is worrisome how society never aggravates men for aligning with women for the purpose of exploiting their honey pots. Men are often represented as those with something to lose, while women are never seen as losers when men treat them as trophies and sex objects. Consequently, many a song in popular culture embody the male sentiment of women as sex-providers. by default. Some of these songs include:

  1. Color Me Badd. “ I Wanna Sex You Up”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLZWrb4ghbI

  2. Johnny Gill. “It’s Your Body”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYf_S1o-GlI

  3. LSG. “My Body”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDFF1dfHOmA

  4. Marvin Gaye. “Sexual Healing”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LxPoJ4QoSk

  5. P. Diddy. “I Need A Girl”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk-BITyU2Vw

  6. Ray Parker Jr. “ I Don’t Think That Man Should Sleep Alone”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HS2ruV_yE4

  7. R Kelly. “Bump n’ Grind”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK-sHqa-sMk

  8. ………….. “Your Body’s Callin’”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MScKeJLF0Tk

  9. …………… “12 Play”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ75oJEcGWA

  10. ………….. “Sex Me”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmjJ-qX2zL8

  11. ………….. “You Remind Me Of Something”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBVcxb_paYo

  12. Silk. “Freak Me”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry6XUsow4Vg

  13. The Jacksons. “Body”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdCm28oJ1Pc

While the above songs receive accolades and recognition as “Baby-making music”, women artists who adopt the same lyrical posture are usually viewed as unrefined, lewd and tacky for their maximization of sexuality in music.

The R&B Soul singer, Millie Jackson who had a reputation for audacious sexual lyricism never received massive acclaim. Her songs were often spoken of in hushed tones. It has been said that after the release of the album Feelin’ Bitchy (1977), music buyers who walked into music stores actually purchased the album under false pretence, as they often feigned initial interest for “something else”.

Jackson’s career may have endured for over two decades, however, Adina “ Freaky” Howard was not so lucky. Her songs were considered overwhelmingly sexual and indigestible for mass consumption. Society found a woman’s sexual expression through music too masculine and intolerable, and punished her by rendering her invisible. Fortunately, Howard had other abilities like cooking and made it a vocation, when music failed.

This is the world of patriarchy where men are applauded for being human and women are punished for being human. You are welcome!

Kensedeobong Okosun

Kensedeobong Okosun (M.A Bielefeld University) is a music enthusiast, music researcher, music journalist, vocalist and an author. Her academic article “Sisterhood and Soul Music as expressions of Black Power” is featured in the edited volume, Black Power in Hemispheric Perspective (Raussert & Steinitz, eds, 2022). She has reviewed Dorothea Gail’s Weird American Music (2019). Her article on Nigerian music has also been published on Nigeria’s news daily, The Sun Newsonline.

Kensedeobong’s blog highlights music’s interconnectivity with society and comprises personal music experiences, researched information, concept playlists for multiple themes, etc.

A hard-core 90s R&B fan, she utilises the vehicle of memory, to position long forgotten music of yesteryears on the front-burner.

She is persuaded that music is a core conduit of collective harmony, equanimity, vitality and healing. And as such requires criticality in the filtration process, in order to disseminate meaning. Her blog promotes music equality and diversity.

She resides in Germany.

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The Pickmeisha Playlist (2)